If you’re new here, Ryan and I are living the DINK (dual income, no kids) life. We talk openly about our choice to be childfree and we’re both an open book when it comes to questions about our lifestyle. I started this series two years ago with Part 1 and Part 2 and because people continue to say bizarre things to us – here we are with Part 3.
“I can’t believe you’d promote a childfree lifestyle. All children are a gift from God.”
I’ve received this comment personally, and I’ve seen it on a lot of childfree Instagram accounts. I’m not sure where these people have confused wanting to be childfree and not thinking children are gifts. I think these two things aren’t mutually exclusive. I think a common misconception of childfree people is that they must hate children. I’ve met plenty of childfree people who love children and love spending time with them. A lot of them who love being aunts or uncles. Just because we promote the positives of our lifestyle (and there are many) doesn’t mean we are encouraging people to hate children.
“But who will carry on your legacy?”
This always makes me laugh. Is every parent on earth leaving a ‘legacy’? Is every parent thinking of the legacy they’ll leave when they have a child? I truly think the legacy you leave can be based on so many things. Did you volunteer? Support non-profits? Read to elementary school children? Walk dogs at the humane society? Join a board? Fill a food pantry? Maybe you’re a nurse or a teacher. Maybe you build homes for Habitat for Humanity. Maybe you donate money to your favorite charity every year. Maybe your write letters to nursing home residents. ALL these things can be considered ‘leaving a legacy.’ I’ve also literally never thought about the legacy I’ll leave. Maybe I will as I get older, but I just try to live each day to make myself, my family and my friends proud. That’s enough of a legacy for me.
“Must be nice….”
I find the “must be nice” crowd comes out at very specific times. I recently was at a party, and someone asked about my travel plans for the year. I rattled off 3-4 trips that we had planned. One of the parents interrupted, “Wow… so much travel! Must be nice.” This comment stopped me in my tracks. There was a heavy insinuation that that much travel was only possible to me because I don’t have children as responsibilities. Was this comment coming from a place of anger? Jealousy? To be honest, either of those I can’t help you with, but what exactly are you looking for in a response? Yes, because I don’t have children, I can book travel several times a year. You chose your life. I chose mine. Let’s vow to stay out of each other’s business in 2024!
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