I decided there needed to be a part 2 to this series. If you’re new here, check out part 1 first. I’ve had so many people reach out to me on Instagram to thank me for my openness when it comes to mine and Ryan’s decision to be childfree. I covered a few things that we often hear in a previous blog post, but we’ve heard the below A LOT lately and I thought I’d address it. Whether you also hear these things or you’re considering DINK life too, you can be prepared for some of these comments.
“But you guys would make great parents!”
This one always makes Ryan and I laugh out loud. Yes, we know we’d make great parents. We’re great people. We make a great couple. We have a stable life. Full-time employment. A roof over our heads. We’re responsible (sometimes). This doesn’t mean we should have children. Just because you know a couple that are *great people* does not necessarily mean they want to tie their lives down or define themselves by being parents. We have a dear friend who makes this comment to us regularly and while I know they don’t mean harm by it, it’s so beyond unnecessary to even say. NOT. EVERYONE. WANTS. TO. BE. A. PARENT.
“Aren’t you worried you’ll regret your decision?”
Were you worried you’d regret your decision to have children? If you aren’t comfortable answering that question, please do not ask DINKs if they’ll regret their decision to be childfree. There is just as much of a possibility of regretting not having children as there is regretting having them. Studies have even shown as of late that parents are regretting having children.While I hope no one regrets having children, it is a giant decision that you should make with your partner just as Ryan and I decided it’s what we didn’t want. Regret was never something I worried about. I won’t regret the brunch I ate. I won’t regret the trip I took. I won’t regret sleeping in on Sundays until noon. I’ve got plenty of fulfilling things happening in my life that I won’t have time to regret being childfree.
“Did you guys make this decision one day or over time?”
This was not a one-day decision. Nothing this big should ever be a one-day decision. You should have multiple conversations with your partner about this topic if it’s something you’re considering. Heck, if you WANT children you should talk about that too. Honest and open communication is so important, and these conversations will change your life significantly. So, absolutely no, we did not just wake up one morning and decide this. Over years together (we were together 8 years before we got engaged) we decided that we absolutely loved our lives the way they were – without children.
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